In the coming summer months, I am excited to announce I have three novels being released. In addition to each having a mermaid heroine, they all have a theme which is significant to me and which I’ve explored personally and through the characters.
Waves of Pleasure has a focus on acceptance. Waves of Desire has characters who need to understand forgiveness, and in Waves of Seduction, compassion is the central theme. In these weeks leading up to the June 15th release of Waves of Pleasure, I want to explore more about acceptance and especially self-acceptance.
Bookstores, new and used, online and brick and mortar, are filled with books that explore the ideas of acceptance and self-acceptance which shows this is an important and challenging subject for many. Google the phrase and you’ll be almost instantly overwhelmed. Articles, advice, suggestions and, of course, weighty comments on how important this is to our overall mental health. But we already know this. It’s why we looked for the books or did the search in the first place.
To me, self-acceptance is about looking at yourself honestly and being okay with the good, the bad and the ugly. You don’t have to like everything about yourself, but accepting it is important. I will never like my quick temper. But I completely accept that this is a part of me and I have learned ways to manage and moderate it. (Personal timeouts are one of my favorites). It doesn’t mean changing, hiding, or fixing what you don’t like. Why? You’re not broken. There’s nothing wrong with you!
We aren’t perfect. We never will be.
It’s important to remember that we have a finite amount of time and energy to do the things we love, enjoy the things that bring us joy, and join in with the people who warm our hearts. I become more aware of this with every passing year. To me, spending time worrying about what’s wrong with us isn’t a good use of that time and energy. I’d rather like myself.
Like most people (everyone?) I’ve been through periods of self-doubt and negativity and generally wanted to be anyone other than myself. The I’m-Not-Good-Enough-Chorus has played long and loudly in my head in my life many times. It is exhausting to hear them day in and day out, and when I finally shut them up, I realize that nothing has truly changed, just my ability to accept – and like – the truths of me. It may not always be an easy thing to do, but it is *so* very worth it.
The sooner you can say “Yes, this is me warts / wrinkles / grays / stretch marks / impatience / distractibility / carb addict / insert your favorite here and all” the sooner you can start to have more fun, relax and focus on the things you truly desire. Understanding ourselves doesn’t happen instantly, overnight or with a few good online articles, no matter how insightful they try to be. I don’t expect your self-acceptance to change reading this blog post.
I do hope, however, that you will start to notice the time you take putting yourself down for things… that aren’t really all that bad. Or for things that other people think are great about you. Or for things you thought were great about you until someone else put you down (yeah, that’s one of my “favorites”).
Acceptance of ourselves and others a journey. I will be writing and exploring this in the next few weeks leading up to Waves of Pleasure and I hope you will read some things that give you insight or at least a good solid “Ah ha!”.
One thing to remember at the outset – there will always be setbacks. I’ve had plenty and I put them in my novels all the time – makes things more interesting for my characters and my readers. That’s part of taking a long journey, in this case lifelong. But that should never stop us from remembering how amazing we are. Warts – and in the case of mermaids, fins – and all.