For the last few weeks I’ve been blogging about the journey of acceptance, both self-acceptance and that of accepting others. It is a key internal conflict for my hero and heroine in Waves of Pleasure, and certainly, it’s something many, if not all of us, have gone through and continue to go through, myself included.
Acceptance is not one of my usual topics. Those of you who have followed this blog in the past know that my main focus tends to be on living and learning your heart’s desire.
But guess what – this connects very importantly with acceptance.
It’s a challenge enough for most people to know what it is they want, whether it’s something material (such as a new car) or something emotional (like being more kind). To know, accept and acknowledge, that this is something they want is scary for many. So many of us are told that we shouldn’t want so much, we shouldn’t ask for so much. But there is great truth and great passion in desire and it should not be ignored.
Acceptance and desire are connected by the concept of worthiness. If you want to read more on this specific subject, I highly recommend the books of Brene Brown, either Daring Greatly, her most recent, or The Gifts of Imperfection, one of her earlier books. In both of these you will find some wonderful information and insight about worthiness and its connection to acceptance
When we accept ourselves, we feel more worthy and when we know we are worthy, we are much more willing to embrace and go for our desires. I can see examples throughout my life of where this happened from when I attracted the man I married (I was in *such* a great place then!) to the timing on when we bought our first home (yeah, totally feeling awesome). I can also see the parallels to staying stuck in jobs I hated when I didn’t believe I was worthy of a better one or one with better pay.
When I am in a place of strong self-acceptance, which after much work and introspection is most of the time, I believe in my worthiness and I go after my desires. It is nearly impossible to go after one without the other being there first.
I am certain you can find examples of this in your own life. Look at times when the things you most desired we’re crystal clear to you, whether you were a child or an adult at the time. Think of the times in your life when you knew what you desired and you received it – or something better. Now think about how you felt about yourself, how you valued yourself, and how you believed yourself worthy before that desire came true.
Now try to think of times when the opposite was true. Times where you were closed off, times when you didn’t know what you wanted, what was important or even remotely how to go after it. The chances are very good you did not feel worthy at this time in your life and your self-acceptance was low.
Lyria and Drew, my main characters in Waves of Pleasure both have some important desires. There are things they want, but because both of them also have issues around self-acceptance, due to events in their pasts (it’s backstory – it has to go somewhere!) neither of them believes they can have what they want. Until they can let go of the things that are stopping them from accepting themselves and feeling worthy they won’t get their desires.
But since it’s a romance novel I’ll give you a hint… There’s a happy ending.
So think about what you desire. Can you connect to it easily? If so, great! Chances are you’re in a place where you’re truly accepting how wonderful you are. Is it a struggle for you? Then perhaps you are in a period of feeling less worthy, a period of lower self-acceptance. If that’s the case, click here for my download on self-acceptance for some tools that might give you a hand in changing that. And again, I recommend Brene’s books.
Because I believe deeply and always that we are all worthy of living our hearts’ desires!