As final preparations are being made for the release of Waves of Pleasure (cover coming soon) this Thursday, June 22, and the final edits are made on Waves of Desire, book two of the series, my thoughts turn from acceptance, the theme for the lead characters in Pleasure, to self-forgiveness, which is what the leads in Desire, Amina and Jonathan, are both struggling with in their lives.
On the outside, they each look successful, especially Amina who is her government’s Lead Counselor and an Ambassador. Her empathic gifts (think Deanna Troi from Star Trek: The Next Generation) make her perfect for the position, and she’s had great success. However, telling people the truth about what they are feeling has some serious downsides, and she’s unwittingly hurt people she dearly loves. As many of us know – some gift can be burdens under certain circumstances.
Jonathan appears to be living a cozy, carefree life as the Head of Security of an adults-only (occasionally clothing optional) singles resort in the Mediterranean (an invented resort on an invented island – think Ibiza). He enjoys his job and making a difference, but only his boss, and old friend knows that Jonathan took the job to get away from New York City after the shooting death of his partner on the NYPD a few years before.
Bad things happen. Yes, it’s cliché, but it’s also quite true. And some of those bad things are completely out of our control, although that doesn’t always make us feel any better. The only think we can control, is our response. Amina and Jonathan, like many of us, still carry guilt and hurt, and blame themselves for the pain. Without choosing something different, their pain will stay with them and keep them from the happiness they see others having and once wanted for themselves.
Nope, I have nothing I need to forgive myself for. I’ve never done something that hurt anyone or had circumstances beyond my control go wrong and haunt me for years to come.
Yes, I’m lying. I’m a novelist – let’s call it creating a story.
Not long ago, I posted on Facebook about both being bullied as a child and being the Mean Girl in response. With one exception, I cannot ask for forgiveness for my nasty, unfortunate choices. What I did still stings, but I am working on forgiving myself. On forgiving the young girl (I was between the ages of 11-14 when the incidents happened) who let fear guide her actions. I am happy to say I have been forgiven by the person who is that exception and that feels wonderful.
Forgiving others can be difficult.
Forgiving ourselves can feel impossible. But it’s not.
Amina and Jonathan’s relationship allows them to see where they are carrying around the pain of the past and then learn what they need to forgive themselves and move forward. Spoiler alert – they end up very happy.
For us in the real world, it takes a little more work along with time, support and, hopefully, love.
Join me over the next few weeks as I blog about the journey of forgiveness leading up to the release of Waves of Desire, Book 2 in the Melusine’s Daughters series.